Management Speak

Management Issue: What do you do when the horse you are riding dies?

Here are some of my “Strategic Answers”:

  • Convene a Senior Management Team meeting to devise a Strategic Plan and Vision Statement for the dead horse.
  • Engage an external consultant to conduct a ‘process consultancy’ on the dead horse.
  • Engage a coach/mentor for the dead horse. Give this project an acronym, eg, DHWP – Dead Horse Whisperer Project.
  • ‘Re-engineer’ the dead horse.
  •  Arrange to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses.
  •  Identify core competencies of dead horses.
  •  Appoint a HR Business Partner to support the dead horse.
  •  Implement training sessions to increase employees  riding ability.
  •  Divide riders into Matrix Riding groups.
  •  Commission an executive search for a Chief Executive Rider whose core competency is riding dead horses.
  •  Compare the state of dead horses with today’s environment.
  •  ‘Stick to the knitting’ on the dead horse.
  •  Harness several dead horses together to try to increase speed.
  •  Go ‘in search of excellence’ re techniques for riding dead horses.
  •  Provide additional funding to try to increase dead horse’s speed.
  •  Contemporary re-branding of dead horse. Eg, “Dead Sea Biscuit”
  •  Do a cost analysis to see if others can ride the dead horse more cheaply.
  • Conduct an ‘agility’ study on the dead horse.
  •  Form a quality circle to find uses for dead horses.
  •  Conduct a 360 appraisal on the dead horse.
  •  Devise a Sustainability Plan for the dead horse.
  •  Get accreditation for Investors in Dead Horses.
  • Conduct an audit on who stole the dead horse’s cheese.
  • Promote the rider of the dead horse.
  • And finally, one for the faith-based sector, pray for God to heal the dead horse.

An old Dakota tribal wisdom says, “When you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount”.

Which goes to show… the old ones are the best ones.

Please post your suggestions below!

One thought on “Management Speak

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s